First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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