trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
