He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
