We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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