If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
