does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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