Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
