I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
this just has baby written all over it
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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