you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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