she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I see more hoeing in ur future
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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