If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
