hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
