Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
