I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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