Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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