How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
