I cut my penus on the lid.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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