I just threw up on my dentist
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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