WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
