mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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