I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
