Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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