I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
