dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
