Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
