Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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