who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
