I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
