i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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