I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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