I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
