ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
