My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
