Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
