we're blogging at a bar
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
