Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
