butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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