he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
