We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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