Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
