did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
