Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
the condom got lost in my hair
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
We just shotgunned beers for America
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
