shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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