So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
