also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
