You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize