Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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