We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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