the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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