She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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