I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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