Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
either way he was missing a nipple.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
i believe in u and ur pee
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
