After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
