I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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