I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Randomize
