Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize