we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
