Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
