just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I need a beard to bite.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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