I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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